Super Heros And You


The song says “ I can be your hero”, the Cinderella book story and movie have the helpless victim entice Prince Charming with a shoe left behind so that he can be the hero. People will go out of their way to be a hero so that their self worth stock goes up 75%. Thus reinforcing the feeling that “ I am a good person, I am a person that cares about others and I am a person that needs to elevate my broken foot, etc so that it heals quickly.”  It is as if people say ‘ I need to prove to you, to myself and to the world that I am a hero.”  When a real hero says “can you be your own hero?”


The psychology of getting in the kitchen and cooking or baking a beautiful meal is so that we instill psychologically and put back into us psychologically that … whatever we, as a human being were not in control of is ok.  No need to slap ourselves to the ground anymore, no need to hit our head against the wall anymore because it’s ok to be a human being !  We don’t even have to say “I’m sorry that I could not fix everything, I’m sorry that I could not make everything beautiful.” As human beings we are in control of some things and we are not in control of other things. We cannot make everything in the world beautiful BUT WE CAN make a beautiful meal, beautiful BBQ, a beautiful dessert.


Police Officers, Federal Law Authorities, and Military Personnel have little control over the behavior or decisions of someone else. However, IF someone breaks the law they have to arrest that person or jeopardize their career, their job. Often Police Officers have to take children from their parents because of unsafe home conditions. Families can sometimes be uprooted because of an abusive male or female in the home. Fire Fighters are not always able to save everyone out of a burning building. The military solder that just came back from Iraq, Afghanistan, etc could not have possibly saved everyone in that country. In the real world in 2015 just like in the Vietnam Days that my Professor Marines Military Intelligence General once told me “ the bad guys use children and pregnant women to carry forth bombs or kill, so that if they cannot kill you physically they will kill you psychologically.”


Therefore, good therapy to help understand we are not in control or able to fix everything is … to get into the kitchen and make a beautiful meal, beautiful dessert or a beautiful bbql. The idea is to get back into the frame of mind thinking of “ I am in control of some things and I am not in control of some things because I am a human being.  Human beings are not always in control or able to fix everything however most of the time we do the best we can and we’ve got to be able to accept that without feeling guilty. When we get into the kitchen we learn as we mix the ingredients to make the food item or items that “ I am in control of some things, I get to decide the outcome of some things. The keywords are “some things.”


So, what happens to unresolved realizations that we are a human being ? The problems start when we allow others to give us a guilt trip or give ourselves a guilt trip about not being able to fix everything. These thoughts of “if only I could have or man I should have” can lead to suppression that eventually little by little will show up as a form of – self-inflicted abuse, self-punishment – that develop into:

  • Alcoholism
  • Being argumentative
  • Overeating
  • Under eating
  • Risky behavior
  • Getting in debt


In conclusion, the possibility of danger lurks Unless we accept that we are a Human Being, Not Able To Fix Everything And We Do Not Have To Punish Ourselves.” It’s ok to admit that we are a human being. Spiderman, Flash Gordon and Batman do not exist in reality. Therefore, I say to you it’s ok to say “ hi my name is ____ and I am a human being.”