Once upon a time, their was a female named Emily and she was sweet, kind and had an awesome personality. However, Emily made the mistake of THINKING that Michael loved her. Emily and Michael worked many hours together, sometimes worked into the late night. Often Michael would ask Emily if she’s like to order out then pay for the meal. After working long hours Michael the next day would offer a gestor gift maybe a box of candy, a Starbucks gift card or something. Sometimes, a woman or a man works close to someone who is nice and bam immediately think the other person loves them. This must be real love is what is sometimes assumed. Then a different female or male comes into the workplace and the jealousy along with insecurities start. Does this sound like someone you know ? What is the answer to solving the problem of what I call wishful thinking love.
The first thing that a person has to do is keep things in perspective. Oh sure, everyone wants a mate, everyone wants someone to spend Friday or Saturday night with. However, wishful thinking and letting the mind wander off into an imaginary love relationship will only come back and bite you. Sometimes, the lonely heart will misinterpret an act of kindness, as an act of potential romantic interest. I am nice and liking to make people smile or laugh. However, when I sense that the other person might misinterpret my behavior I address the issue immediately. I will act silly, I will act humorous or I will joke around to make sure the point is made that I am being nice and kind hearted and not romantically interested.
It is an awkward and uncomfortable situation when an innocent bystander is the target of a jealousy and insecurities. When someone thinks their potential wishful thinking romantic relationship is in jeopardy reactions start. The first inclination is to defend one’s territory when see a trespasser upon their person, their soon to be my property. Different people react in different ways and display different behavior. However, one thing is for sure once a when person feels territory threatened the fangs are out.
In conclusion, let me just say that being kind hearted and nice is different from romantic interest. I think ignoring the issue is sometimes the worse thing to do. Does it really hurt to make a statement or two about the situation. Would it hurt to say something like, “Bob you are so kind hearted or in a giggle or smile say or are you romantically interested in me”? See their bam you got the message out even if you had to joke about it. Clarification is being asked for in a non-aggressive or assuming tone of voice. Clarification is a whole lot better than an awkward situation happening one day. Can you imagine and would you say if the new office guy Ron is cute and single. Then one day Joe says to Ron, “oh that’s Carol my girl who always buys me lunch or is continually giving me a massage”. What about if one day Emily says to the new office help, “that’s Michael my boyfriend he makes sure we always eat good balanced meals when working late”.