Reward vs Truth Cost

In Austin, Texas in 2013 I took a Social Psychology class our textbook was The Social Animal, by Aronson. I have attached the website link for a free download of the textbook  My last response paper was going to be the final paper that I would be writing for my professor Dr. Cruz. Therefore what did I want to leave this last impression with. I kept in mind that I was writing to someone who has obtained his Ph.D and very familiar with the subject of Social Psychology. I had to decide if I wanted to write about a serious topic or a topic that would leave my reader, my professor thinking. After much thought and care I decided to write about one of the topics in the book titled, “The Reward Cost Theory, The Reward Theory of Attraction”. This topic was intended to leave my reader thinking.

As you I mentioned I decided to choose my topic carefully since my reader was very familiar with the topic. Therefore, writing something to leave my reader thinking was decided on. Cautiously, I started writing. The reason that it was with care that I was writing is because it deals with what I call bubble busting. Therefore it’s understandable that no one wants to discuss the topic because no one wants their love bubble busted. No one wants to be told “LOOK” it is documented in this Psychology textbook, I have the reason you are actually attracted and think you’re in love. Not much Deep Thinking goes into the “why” do I love this person especially after “sex” starts. Yet sometimes years later in a divorce court we can find ourselves thinking, “What did I ever see in this person”. When we were kids we were taught “get along and you will go along”. Therefore, can we blame this pre-programming for our deceitful ways to say “you two look make an awesome couple”. When actually IF we let the persons speak the truth they might say “that girl is using psychology on you she does not love you”. Are you still going to keep your lunch date with someone that tells you “she saw your man flirting with the waitress”. The thing is that the moment someone says anything contrary to what we want to hear about the love relationship you will find that the dinner invitations and so on will stop.

We are rewarded with future invites for telling a lie and say you make a good couple with your loved one. We are punished for telling the truth about your loved one and say the person is using psychology on you or using you. Our need to remain accepted and be a part of the circles is what keeps us from telling our loved ones the truth. The power of our words can have a lasting effect on people. What happens when you tell someone they look absolutely stunning in red? Then two days later you see the person in the store buying 10 shades of red outfits. Hum, you did say person looks absolutely stunning in red. You see person was told looks good in red and accepted in good standing wearing red. Therefore, to continue that need to be accepted and loved it’s time to go to the store and get more red items.

In conclusion, experiments are done on human beings so that we can understand the human emotions better and understand people better. The human being is a sensitive individual that often puts a shell on the exterior. Can you imagine how tragic it could be to have someone approach you with a Social Psychology textbook saying “look here see she really does not love you”. Aronson says in the book, The Social Animal that for people the “most important concern is the way others react to them.” How can we expect someone to tell us the truth when we will react by calling them names or planning an attack. It is out of fear of being shunned and fear from hurting someone that sometimes people say “you look pretty in red” or “you make such a beautiful couple”