Our Body, We Only Have One

Posted Posted in Our Health

Despite modern technology, the human body is the only body that we have. Therefore, we have to take care and the  most of the only one body that we have. We can do the most with our body which makes our body our tool. Just in case you are thinking “hum interesting how do I start to make the most of my body”? I have always given the analogy of our body like a car. My dad was an auto mechanic. Therefore once again I will use a car analogy to help explain my point. Hopefully you will understand my point of view. I think that the start is just like with a car. We would wash out body, cleanse and fast if health permits. Fasting usually consist of drinking water for 24 hours or 48 hours to cleans the body. Just like cleaning and washing a car to put the bumper sticker and antenna cover, we first have to have a clean body, clean car to put things on. As you will see below in the car scenarios the third scenario car decided to do the most that they could with the car. Our body can be like that third car and be the best that our body can be. Remember our body our tool. Ok, so we have

  • car scenario one, if you have a car and put gas in the car and wash the car you are doing great
  • car scenario two, but if with that same car you put a bumper sticker that says Love, Laugh, Love then you are spreading hope, cheer and enthusiasm with that same car
  • car scenario three, you do all the things car number one did and car number two did. Plus put a funny antenna cover to spread humor

Just in case you are thinking ok so, how do I get my body to be my tool ?  Well for me, years ago I started fasting on bananas and water. I started for one day then decided to do that for 2 days. The reason I decided on bananas and water was because bananas have a lot of potassium and at the time I was getting a lot of painful leg cramps in the middle of the night. Smoothies are the best way to go but ONLY you know your body and what medications you are on or have been on. Therefore, need to think about that before start drinking smoothies and making your body your tool. You can still do the car number 3 but you have to consult with your doctor and be realistic, honest with yourself.  It is important to make sure eating/drinking the right foods so do not counteract with any medicines or therapy presently in.  How do I know what ingredients to make a smoothie out of ?  Well, what I do is use www.google.com to find out information about fruits and vegetables.  For example I might want to find out the benefits of Spinach, or apple benefits and so on. Then if I am unfamiliar with the vitamin benefits I will google benefits of vitamin A, vitamin C and so on.  Keep in mind that what fruits and vegetables might be good for one person might be bad for someone else. I google checked for bananas and found that bananas are high in potassium. Spinach is high in Vitamin A.  Pineapple is high in Vitamin C.  Watermelon replaces electrolytes.  Cactus also called nopales are great as an inflammatory and reduce high blood pressure. Sugar cane is “high in calcium, magnesium, potassium, iron, and manganese. Diseases like cancer cannot survive in an alkaline environment and effective in fighting cancer, especially prostate and breast cancer.

In conclusion, despite doctor permission needed for some we all have the capability to make our body our tool to the best allowed. Once you find the benefits of the fruits and vegetables that are beneficial for you then it’s time  smoothie time. You can combine items or just do one single item smoothie.  I will combine Carrots and Oranges then add a splash of lemon. Their are days when I will just do a smoothie of apples.  I use water and no ice cubes because ice cubes would be watering down the smoothie. If I want my smoothie super cold then I will put it in the freezer for a bit. I do not use any protein powders because I want to keep it as natural as possible. It’s really simple after finding out the information on www.google.com about the various fruits and vegetables just think
1. What do I want to be able to do, capabilities
2. Where do I want my body to go
3. your body your tool

 

 

 

Dating in the USA in 2018

Posted Posted in Romance

It is all the same thing with the same objective regardless if it’s a date between man and woman or same sex date. Is dating any different from 1900’s or 1970’s or in 2018? Well, to answer that let’s first define  what is a romantic date. Per the dictionary a date “is a certain day and time set aside to do something”.  Then dictionary says “dating is a stage of romantic relationships where two people meet socially to see if they have anything in common and assess each others suitability’s”.  Ah ha, did you read those key words of “dating is a stage of” which indicates that there are several stages several steps that might lead to a relationship and marriage. YOU understand that this is a date to get to know each other.  We are not going to do the cheeseburger, fries and shake for sex after.  This is not about sex services rendered for payment of dinner, a gift card, a movie or money.  Come on we are all adults here lets be adults in discussing this topic.  

Hum, I think we got that it’s a date.  So, if dating is a stage of, just one of several steps that might lead to that final step of marriage.  Well along these several stages these several steps of getting to know you, who is going to pay for the outings?  Dinner is not free at the restaurants, the movies do come with buy one get one free or have matinee shows with less expensive prices however someone still has to pay for the tickets. In past years it was automatically assumed that it was the role of the male to pay for the date.  However to assess if will get along, to check out his or her potential partner indicates both are doing this.  If only one person is doing the assessing, checking out then it is assumed that moving forward is up to that one person.  In actuality it is commonly up to both if want to move forward because it takes both to move forward.  Both people get to know each other and assess each other to decide if want to go forward.  However, in 2018 woman want equal rights and the cost of living is not the same as it was in the 1900’s or 1970’s so who is going to “dish out the bread or take out the plastic” so to speak. Who is going to pay for these  “getting to know you”  dates because it’s both people that have to say yes to go forward.

Ideally it would be great to still have the 1900’s or 1970’s atmosphere where male pays for everything however since we don’t have that then lets evaluate our choices.  What we have is two people that want to get to know each other to see if they can have a romantic relationship. To get to know each other will take different scenes, different ambiance to see how the two interact with each other and others in the immediate area. For example how does one person treat the waiter at the restaurant. The object and the goal of this getting to know each other is because “hey I’m human and I’d like some company, I am awesome yes however I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone”.  The standard date is dinner so is that going to be dinner at a restaurant?  Is that going to be dinner at the place of one person where “the date” has access to the bathroom, looking at the place?  Honestly, I am not too comfortable having a total stranger come into my place of residence with access to my bathroom where the shampoo, toothpaste etc are.  Therefore, a restaurant date is best however who will pay for the bill and what type of restaurant. I suggest something neutral something that has no country origins. At that first date, at that one encounter talking and listening is the most important thing to do
• what type of places like to go to
• what are the expectations
• how is the waiter or waitress treated
• are all eyes on you or are other potential dates being checked out

In conclusion dating is definitely different in 2018 than it was in 1900’s or 1970’s.  Statistics show that marriages have arguments and break up because of finances. Therefore, if finances are dealt with in an adult manner during dates then by the time and IF those dates go to the stage of marriage the finances will have a good foundation because finances dealt with during dating stages, the getting to know you stages.  I go by the belief of dating getting to know each other is exactly that, two people that want to get to know each other, this is a stage, this is a step that MIGHT and might not go beyond the stage one. Regarding who pays for the date, well that is actually up to you, each person gets to decide for themselves. This is not a gender thing of male has to pay.  The attitude of female has to pay because she gets paid more is an individual decision.  In my opinion in some cases the date expense can be shared and split in half.  Remember it’s both people that want to get to know each other.  It is both people that have to say yes to go forward to the next date, the next stage, the next step.

Home Vibes

Posted Posted in Our Home

She walked into the building everyday Monday thru Friday. The first thing she did was turn on her music loud not only so she could hear but everyone else could hear. She was determined that she would overstep her boundaries, show no respect for the place and while working, doing her job would change things to accommodate her after all she was on a mission to get payback. After all what could be proven it was just music being played.

Home Sweet Home is supposed to be exactly that. Everyday people have to deal with the crap at work, people that are rude etc. Life situations and concerns can most of the time not be controlled out of our immediate home environment. Our home is where we rule. Our home is where we are in control. Therefore, maintaining good vibes, good mood, good atmosphere is important. When I first saw the sign that said “Good Vibes Only” my first reaction was “what” “whatever” etc. Then one day I understood what someone who introduced the saying “Good Vibes Only” turned Modern Décor was saying. Good Vibes are important.

Why would someone want to intentionally change the vibes, the atmosphere, the mood of an environment?  Well the reason can be summed up in one word, HURT.  Person or persons are hurt.  Therefore, changing the vibes, atmosphere, mood of a location cannot be traced back and accomplishes much.  I apologize for the Control Manipulate attitude that some people have and demonstrate in various countries. I apologize for our President of whatever year thinking they can have the invade your space attitude. I apologize for business people giving no regard to the riches that a country has like diamonds, oil etc and thinking they can go in and take all for self benefit. However, I do not apologize for wanting someone to respect the boundaries and accept that you too have become what you hate most. Injuring innocent people who have nothing to do with your cause who are only people living at home, in the privacy of their home.

In conclusion sometimes people think we are stupid and they are smart. What can we prove?  It’s just music being played to intentionally change the peaceful vibes, atmosphere and mood.  It’s just music being played to increase the anxiety, anger etc level.  Someone starts arguing, the anger level a person had is increased, someone has anxiety problems etc. Then bam target and or targets sought to look like a bad person is affected then an argument, anxiety level increase etc and documented.  Therefore mission accomplished.  Most people will think geez how is it the fault of the Postal Employee who was just playing loud music while working? What can you prove is the attitude. Well, we can prove that a person working making $20+ dollars an hour is unable to perform  job duties unless they hear loud music. Rather unprofessional behavior is what can be proven.

True Love Last Forever Regardless

Posted Posted in Romance

We never know the date or the time or the place but one day the love bug will bite.  We will be in love without even having planned the situation.  They say that when the love bug bites it leaves a scar forever.  Love, true love is forever even when people separate and no longer a couple true love remains forever.  You are walking along one day without any worries or cares just being you. Then one day you are walking down the same street full of love concerns and your heart just is not the same. What happen, was it the elements or are you ill ?   Let me give you a couple of examples of couples that I have seen display true love that last forever.

Prince Andrew was always a playboy. I remember first time I heard about him was when he was involved in a romantic scandal in Los Angeles, California. The scandal was in all the newspapers and tv news. Later the newspapers told us about a woman journalist photographer who was jumping fences just to take Prince Andrew picture and meet him. Well Ms Lady Fergie met her man that she was determined to meet and they both fell in love. Years later, couple of kids later they divorced but remained friends quote “for the kids’ sake.”  One day Fergie was busted selling access to Prince Andrew but still they communicated and stayed friends. While all along after the divorce Princess Fergie was living with Prince (Duke) Andrew in the same house. The justification was given of  “helping her during financial hard times.”   Actually that was love that never died that never let go.  The excuse of helping out and that is why live together is just an excuse. When they both say “just hanging out together that is why still attend functions together in 2017”   well guess what that is also  just an excuse of why both attending same event together.  It takes two to tango well unless you get one of those inflatable dolls and dance.  Both people not one are using excuses to hide and keep from saying “still in love with each other.”

I am fairly new to the music of Coldplay. I remember years ago reading that Chris Martin had married Gwenyth Paltrow and thought nothing much of it since not familiar with his music.  Then about a couple of years ago I was introduced to the music of Coldplay and thought oh wow “I like this music.”  I remember reading how they had divorced, and then would read how they would go on vacations together for quote “the kids’ sake”.  I thought hum this is interesting.  Then recently I saw the picture of Chris Martin and the current fiancé of Gwyneth Paltrow at the same table at Sunday Brunch.  I knew then that this is more than just friends for the kids’ sake, here was another couple still in love.  I am telling you the man has several houses all over the world and guess who owns half of them per his choice not the divorce papers?  After the divorce both had gone their own way and remained friends going to vacations and spending holidays together. Despite the divorce because as Gwyneth Paltrow stated in a magazine “she messed up”.  Well my dear that is what forgiveness is all about.  As human beings we mess up at one point but when someone loves you they will forgive you and life goes on. Once again I say that it takes two to tango. Both not one are using excuses to hide and keep from saying “still in love with each other”.

Yes, I too have been bitten by the love bug recently.  I knew and was madly in love with this person named Bill Hale years ago when I worked for the City of San Antonio.  Recently when I was in San Antonio for a visit at the grocery store guess who I thought I saw in the bakery?  It was him, I was sure my heart beat fast because it was the man that I absolutely loved.  I thought it was so unbelievable because he looked exactly like he looked years ago. Then I walked up happy as can be.  Maybe it was just my imagination or love and he actually did not look a day older.  Either way I moved closer and said hi  “oh my gosh I cannot believe it’s not you and how are you”.   Instead blah blah blah I apologize you look like someone I loved and wish had pursued.  I could have taken the opportunity to say hi well you are not Billy but you seem nice.  Instead my true love would have none of that because it was Billy or not this replicate.  Bam true love in the grocery store was not about to happen on that day. When  you love someone when you really love someone despite meeting new people or dating …… true love gets rekindled.

In conclusion, the song When I Fall In Love says “it will be forever” well maybe that is what love is all about.  True love is not always found.  Love true love is such a strong bond that not even divorce or not being together will stop.  Love between two people will sometimes last a lifetime despite not being together.  Therefore, why not get married or remarried and stop the excuses because it is pointless to go on separated.  Many people are in such a hurry to get on with life after a breakup that reflecting is not in the vocabulary.  Most people just go from a relationship to a dating time frame and then right back into a relationship thinking that it’s love.  However, true love will last a lifetime and will always lead you back together.  Not everyone finds true love in their life time so if you have found True Love you are lucky don’t let it go.  Why ignore true love or use an excuse to suppress True Love. Go, it’s your chance of a lifetime.  This is True Love not the Macy’s annual Thanksgiving Day parade that will happen again next year.

Projecting Good Vibes

Posted Posted in Vibes

Projecting good energy is exactly that. YOU are in your happy place projecting good.  I was reading an article that said  “change your thoughts to positive, uplifting ones”  https://www.peacefulmind.com/projecting-and-receiving-energy/   Immediately I thought this is fantastic and goes back to what someone once told me of “find the good.”   IF we find the good in any and all situations then we will keep from being negative.   It has always been assumed that talking energy, talking good vibes, talking mood was something for hippies or people into witchcraft. It has taken several years for people to publicly talk about good energy, positive energy and the impact it has on us and our atmosphere.  Albert Einstein once said, “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality.”   We match the good vibes, the good words, the good reaction because that is the reality we want in our life and in our atmosphere.

Let me share with you an incident where I sought to Find The Good and keep the vibes good in the atmosphere. Recently an Owl votive candle holder that I have fell down off the counter. The Owl votive holder had a brass copper color so I thought it was metal or aluminum and I was wrong.  When the Owl votive holder fell it broke and I was not only surprised but sad because I knew that Yankee Candle had sold out of the item at some of the stores.  I remembered about find the good in ALL situations so I stepped on one of the pieces and said “Mozel Tov” what is said after a wedding.   You see I used the broken glass to wish myself good.  I called various Yankee Candle stores to ask if they had any of the Owl votive candle holders since the internet website was out.   The most important thing I realized is that the Yankee Candle store in Austin, Texas actually cares about their customers.  You see once again something good made out of the situation because I the customer realized cared about.  My Owl votive candle holder was found in Houston Texas and REPLACED (of course after being purchased).  I sought to find the good and keep the vibes good in the atmosphere in two different ways, one by saying ‘Mozel Tov” and two by being thankful that Yankee Candle provides excellent customer service.

In 2017 people are being hired to make Personal Appearances to project tranquility and other good vibrations to the environment, location and/or person.  You are probably thinking “oh my gosh hire someone to make a personal appearance and project good that is so foolish. Oh really well people are being hired.  Athletes train so that when they compete they will win.  Models watch what they eat and stay in good shape so that when a Model is needed they will be called and hired.  The idea is to stay in shape so that when needed will be called upon and hired. The same thing of staying in shape applies to people that are called upon to change the vibes, projection in the immediate environment or person. Let us keep in thought that just like someone can be hired to project good people can be hired to project bad, evil, jealousy, destruction etc.   The point system is what I call the Level of Hierarchy Power, the Hierarchy Level of Authority depends on various qualities. The more qualities have the more power, authority will have.

  • Tattoos.  Let’s compare two people one has tattoos and one has no tattoos, well according to various religious published writings, the body is our temple that should be taken care of and respected. Therefore the person that has no tattoos has taken care of their body and respected their body and overcome temptation of getting a tattoo. Therefore, the person with no tattoos is rewarded with more power and authority when doing the same thing as a person who has tattoos.
  • Drugs.  The same applies to not having done drugs because the person who has not done drugs has more authority power over the one who has done drugs. You get my road map here, of the more qualities you have contribute the more valuable you are.

In conclusion, we able to control and change the VIBES of a location, person, or business.  Albert Einstein said that “energy is everything” that is a quality not to be underestimated.  Lots of people that are depressed can benefit from having the mood changed in their location, environment.  What IF what Mr. George Bush said years ago is true about “it’s good vs evil”.   I think it’s been that way since the beginning of time.  We are fortunate that we are starting to understand the concept of “energy” so that we can change the environment, etc.  It’s not about creating a Utopia it’s about understanding that we can help a more pleasant livable good vibes atmosphere just with our behavior. It’s just like Albert Einstein said  “match the frequency of the reality you want”.

 

Staying On The Road

Posted Posted in Life

The consequences are the same and what you endure, see and deal with is the same regardless if you are a big media reporter/journalist  for CNN, BBC etc or a small reporter/journalist for a small paper or online media outlet.   Their was a time when only reporters/journalist that covered Mexico or other South of the Border stories had to worry about their safety.  However, now reporters/journalist all over the world are being killed or put in jail.  There is always going to be someone that says “if you do not help us then no one will”.  That are tough words to hear when you are in an area where lots of hurt is going on and IF you just take a moment to help. However if you are dead, in jail, in a mental hospital, a hostage or unemployed then who can you help ? The people that have put their trust in you to cover a story, to do a job have just lost a valuable asset and that is YOU.

Being a journalist, regardless if a large television station, newspaper, online or independent all require the same thing and that is stay on course and do not get side tracked. I cannot express enough or tell you that times have changed. In the past journalist, reporters were not heard of being killed or kidnapped except in the Country of Mexico. Today regardless of what country a journalist, reporter is in it’s just not considered “safe or protected”. When a journalist, reporter, news anchor person decide to do a story on their own AND get off the path because they are going to help someone that IF they don’t help then no one will. When person or persons decide to do this then they jeopardize their job, their life and the lives of anyone that might try to help them. All countries have secrets, all countries have something they do not want told.

When I was a youngster my mother told me “Nancy you are being silly because corruption exist in every city.” Those are words that I listened to and respected because it was true back then and it is true today. How we choose to reveal a story can either get us killed, in jail, people scared to talk to us or it can help the situation. There are times when more good is actually brought about without the story published. It’s not blackmail it’s people working together for the benefit of all. Few people can actually do this of negotiate for a win win solution by not publishing a story. I think that is why I listened and never forgot when my mother told me “Nancy you have to stop trying to be like someone else”. I made sure those words never left my memory. I may think I can fly like an eagle but I am a Human Being and only an eagle can fly.  “Respect” my mother always said will get you a long way Nancy. Being a journalist, reporter, photographer, camera person, editor, publisher regardless if it’s a job or just a hobby, we have got to have respect.

  • When someone says, “I do not want my picture taken” then respect that.
  • When you are in a public place is it difficult to ask “may I take the picture of you, of your child”.
  • When covering a story to get information is it too much to let people know they are speaking with media that can write anything they say.
  • When in a foreign city, state or country is it too much to respect the local authorities ?

In conclusion, respect is a seven letter word that can save and stop many situations from occurring. Therefore despite wanting to be funny, I think it is important not to make fun of or lash out at the religion of someone. I grew up in the Catholic religion and I would be offended if someone made fun of Jesus Christ on the cross. Remember that while we respect and appreciate Freedom of Speech it is necessary to acknowledge that Freedom of Speech is not practiced in all parts of the world. In order to help people the most, it is important to stay on course, stay on the highway and get the current story working on published.

My Uncle John

Posted Posted in Life

When someone dies it prompts us to ask ourselves, “am I doing what I want to do in MY life?”   We tend to take every day for granted. Many people think that there is a later, a tomorrow or it’s in the plan for next year. We have only one life and statistics show that 50% of the people hate their job and not happy with their current spouse. In  EVERY  LIFE  CYCLE  regardless if it’s plants, animals or humans there is a start date and there is an end date. One life then die.

Recently well actually yesterday my Uncle Dr. John Rameriz died after a long battle with cancer. My uncle had been battling cancer for four years!  My Uncle was an awesome person, he would say “I don’t want it on social media” he was silly.  My uncle Dr. John Ramirez (psychiatrist, psychologist) died Friday October 27, 2017 from Cancer.  Four years he battled the battle and I only found out a month ago.  My uncle and his wife (both have their Ph.D’s)  every year would go on a vacation to some fantastic place.  It was definite that my Uncle John lived the life he wanted to live, he was doing what he wanted to do.  Always no matter what helping make the world, our world be a better place by guiding, encouraging people to do better and be good people.

I have spoken about this in previous blog post. In Judaism and also in DSM 5 which is the Psychology Bible it is only acceptable to grieve for 3 days when someone dies.  As previously stated in previous blog post at first I thought 3 days oh my gosh.  Then I took a step back and was thinking and thought  “yes that sounds about right that is the appropriate number of days to grieve before person goes into a temporary or permanent state of Depression.”   The reason only 3 days for grieving is acceptable is because  ALL  ALONG  we are suppose to be appreciating the person alive.  We say “I love you”  or  “I will miss you”  or  “thank you”  while the person is alive.  We do not wait for the person to die because who can hear us ?

In Conclusion, I wish that EVERY life cycle plants, animals and humans SOMETIMES only had a beginning with no end.  We CELEBRATE life and those who touched us.  We say “I am a good person because of you.”  We LIVE the life WE  want to live.  We  DO  what we want to do in our one life.   I love doing Research, Analyze, Write as a hobby.  I have been doing my hobby of research, analyze, write for many years having learned as a teenager from some of the best.  Regardless if  EVERYONE  likes my hobby, regardless if some people say no blogger, research person allowed around me …. I still do my research, analyze and write.  In this one life we can hate what we do everyday, we can hate who we are with OR  we can be happy doing what we want to do and be with who we want to be with.  The decisions in life are totally up to us.  The celebration of life is because living the life wanted to live and the many people touched.  We do not take  life for granted and we make sure that at the end of the day at the end when we are tired, sometimes exhausted regardless are able to say,  “ I AM doing what I want to do in my life and with my life”.

Reward vs Truth Cost

Posted 7,422 CommentsPosted in Life

In Austin, Texas in 2013 I took a Social Psychology class our textbook was The Social Animal, by Aronson. I have attached the website link for a free download of the textbook  https://www.pdfdrive.net/the-social-animal-e30217751.html  My last response paper was going to be the final paper that I would be writing for my professor Dr. Cruz. Therefore what did I want to leave this last impression with. I kept in mind that I was writing to someone who has obtained his Ph.D and very familiar with the subject of Social Psychology. I had to decide if I wanted to write about a serious topic or a topic that would leave my reader, my professor thinking. After much thought and care I decided to write about one of the topics in the book titled, “The Reward Cost Theory, The Reward Theory of Attraction”. This topic was intended to leave my reader thinking.

As you I mentioned I decided to choose my topic carefully since my reader was very familiar with the topic. Therefore, writing something to leave my reader thinking was decided on. Cautiously, I started writing. The reason that it was with care that I was writing is because it deals with what I call bubble busting. Therefore it’s understandable that no one wants to discuss the topic because no one wants their love bubble busted. No one wants to be told “LOOK” it is documented in this Psychology textbook, I have the reason you are actually attracted and think you’re in love. Not much Deep Thinking goes into the “why” do I love this person especially after “sex” starts. Yet sometimes years later in a divorce court we can find ourselves thinking, “What did I ever see in this person”. When we were kids we were taught “get along and you will go along”. Therefore, can we blame this pre-programming for our deceitful ways to say “you two look make an awesome couple”. When actually IF we let the persons speak the truth they might say “that girl is using psychology on you she does not love you”. Are you still going to keep your lunch date with someone that tells you “she saw your man flirting with the waitress”. The thing is that the moment someone says anything contrary to what we want to hear about the love relationship you will find that the dinner invitations and so on will stop.

We are rewarded with future invites for telling a lie and say you make a good couple with your loved one. We are punished for telling the truth about your loved one and say the person is using psychology on you or using you. Our need to remain accepted and be a part of the circles is what keeps us from telling our loved ones the truth. The power of our words can have a lasting effect on people. What happens when you tell someone they look absolutely stunning in red? Then two days later you see the person in the store buying 10 shades of red outfits. Hum, you did say person looks absolutely stunning in red. You see person was told looks good in red and accepted in good standing wearing red. Therefore, to continue that need to be accepted and loved it’s time to go to the store and get more red items.

In conclusion, experiments are done on human beings so that we can understand the human emotions better and understand people better. The human being is a sensitive individual that often puts a shell on the exterior. Can you imagine how tragic it could be to have someone approach you with a Social Psychology textbook saying “look here see she really does not love you”. Aronson says in the book, The Social Animal that for people the “most important concern is the way others react to them.” How can we expect someone to tell us the truth when we will react by calling them names or planning an attack. It is out of fear of being shunned and fear from hurting someone that sometimes people say “you look pretty in red” or “you make such a beautiful couple”

Wishful Thinking Love

Posted Posted in Romance

Once upon a time, their was a female named Emily and she was sweet, kind and had an awesome personality. However, Emily made the mistake of THINKING that Michael loved her. Emily and Michael worked many hours together, sometimes worked into the late night. Often Michael would ask Emily if she’s like to order out then pay for the meal. After working long hours Michael the next day would offer a gestor gift maybe a box of candy, a Starbucks gift card or something. Sometimes, a woman or a man works close to someone who is nice and bam immediately think the other person loves them. This must be real love is what is sometimes assumed. Then a different female or male comes into the workplace and the jealousy along with insecurities start. Does this sound like someone you know ? What is the answer to solving the problem of what I call wishful thinking love.

The first thing that a person has to do is keep things in perspective. Oh sure, everyone wants a mate, everyone wants someone to spend Friday or Saturday night with. However, wishful thinking and letting the mind wander off into an imaginary love relationship will only come back and bite you. Sometimes, the lonely heart will misinterpret an act of kindness, as an act of potential romantic interest. I am nice and liking to make people smile or laugh. However, when I sense that the other person might misinterpret my behavior I address the issue immediately. I will act silly, I will act humorous or I will joke around to make sure the point is made that I am being nice and kind hearted and not romantically interested.

It is an awkward and uncomfortable situation when an innocent bystander is the target of a jealousy and insecurities. When someone thinks their potential wishful thinking romantic relationship is in jeopardy reactions start. The first inclination is to defend one’s territory when see a trespasser upon their person, their soon to be my property. Different people react in different ways and display different behavior. However, one thing is for sure once a when person feels territory threatened the fangs are out.

In conclusion, let me just say that being kind hearted and nice is different from romantic interest. I think ignoring the issue is sometimes the worse thing to do. Does it really hurt to make a statement or two about the situation. Would it hurt to say something like, “Bob you are so kind hearted or in a giggle or smile say or are you romantically interested in me”? See their bam you got the message out even if you had to joke about it. Clarification is being asked for in a non-aggressive or assuming tone of voice. Clarification is a whole lot better than an awkward situation happening one day. Can you imagine and would you say if the new office guy Ron is cute and single. Then one day Joe says to Ron, “oh that’s Carol my girl who always buys me lunch or is continually giving me a massage”. What about if one day Emily says to the new office help, “that’s Michael my boyfriend he makes sure we always eat good balanced meals when working late”.

You Stopped The Cafeteria Line

Posted Posted in Life

Life is like being in a cafeteria line. You go thru the line and do not just stay in one place because the people behind you will start yelling. Hopefully you have been in a cafeteria line, maybe in school or in a restaurant. Typically people go down the cafeteria line and decide what items they want then move down. Occasionally there will be the person in the cafeteria line who stops in front of the entrees or vegetables. Maybe you have seen that person who just stops in the cafeteria line in front of the desserts. Geez so many good desserts which one do I take?

In life we meet good days and we have oh my gosh days . The most important thing is to remember that we have to keep moving. It’s just like being in a cafeteria line you stop in front of that fried fish unsure if that’s what you want and you will hear people moaning and groaning and possibly yelling. Life is not always easy and actually some people have it easier than others. People sometimes experience a death in their life which is one of the hardest experiences to have. However, we have to remember we grieve, we cry, we hold on to the good memories And Life Goes On. In my schooling of psychology I learned that any grieving past 3 days is considered abnormal per DSM 5 the Psychology Bible. When I first read that and it was discussed in class I though “oh my gosh how can that be only 3 days of grieving”. After the 3 days if person still is depressed or grieving the0n it’s considered a case of a psychological disorder of depression.

I read and re-read the textbook. I listened attentively as my instructor discussed the topic. Eventually after much thinking and evaluating I came to the conclusion that I understood why. I realized why it is considered abnormal if person grieves after 3 days. You see when someone is alive WE APPRECIATE that person, we love and we ACKNOWLEDGE the person. When the person dies we are saddened and that sadness of losing a loved one is normal. We get comfort in knowing that we acknowledged the person when person was alive. In every life there is a birth and there is a death, there is a start date and there is an end date. As I realized this I thought ay ha that is WHY only 3 days of grieving are normal because past 3 days you start to deal with issues guilt. Issues of guild can include having mistreated the person, cheated on the person, and so on. Therefore, the issue has turned from grieving for a loved one to dealing with issues unresolved.

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that we need a tune  up that we need to see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist. There is nothing wrong with taking medications. Person and or persons are in the process of becoming a better self. We are human beings going through life just like going through the cafeteria line with so many awesome choices. And sometimes it is necessary for someone to remind us to  move, life goes on. Life is like a cafeteria line. It is important to remember as we are in the line of life that we fall, we laugh, we are happy, we are sad AND life goes on, moving on.

 

Romantic Relationships and Us

Posted Posted in Romance

He slammed the car door so hard that the car shook. The driver’s window was half up and the window broke. Did you acknowledge as you read that he slammed the car door so hard that the car shook and window broke. Yet in the rage of his anger of this man he was surprised the car window broke. What happened?

Well, hours before Bob was on his mobile phone arguing with his wife. Bob was asking her why she left him with no money in the bank and no credit cards. The credit cards had all been reported stolen so accounts closed and new credit cards on the way. What made Bob angrier was that no house keys to get into the house were left for him. The locks had been changed during the day. What brings about such behavior ? Why would a loving relationship go bing then die! Well, what happened is that Pauline found photographs of her husband Bob and his lover, Paul !

Bob had been gay before he met Pauline. Pauline immediately fell in love with his beautiful hair, his gorgeous eyes, his personality, his sensitivity and his smile. Bob hid nothing and told Pauline IMMEDIATELY that he was gay and had just broken up with his lover of many years. Pauline insisted to Bob that they would just be friends at first. Pauline thought to herself that she would change Bob. That is probably the same thought that many of females and men have of someone they want to be a romantic partner. It’s always those dangerous words that come back to haunt us years later.
• oh it’s not a big deal, I can change that
• my love will be so great that
• just needs some understanding and religion in her or his life

Years later when those words came back to haunt Pauline it was painful. Pauline was hurt and could not accept that the ONLY person we can change is ourselves. We cannot change the world! We can contribute to the well being, we can offer suggestions, “we can lead a horse to water but we cannot make the horse drink the water.”  Pauline was hurt and she wanted to hurt back, Pauline was saying, actually shouting that she was hurt and wanted to hurt back with her actions.  What Pauline was not accepting is that Pauline was hurt because of Pauline. Pauline felt like a failure and embarrassed after she said to herself that she was going to change the ways of Bob.

In conclusion, we all want to be in a Romantic Relationship. We all want someone to come home to or wakeup with. However, we must remember to keep two feet on the ground when we get those feelings of “I’m so in love, you just don’t understand”. When love is pulling you up off your feet it’s up to you and you alone to keep those feet on the ground. If you really love someone you will accept that person as they are. You will not go into a relationship with the attitude of thinking you can change or adjust the life of the other person. Love is accepting the person and helping each other grow.

Learning Opportunity

Posted Posted in Life

Learning opportunities come when we decide we want to get something out of the situation.  This might be a good situation or a bad experience situation.  Either way we are going to get a learning opportunity out of this.  Choosing to use a situation as a learning opportunity will benefit us.  The learning opportunity is showing that WE as a community, that we as a human race are capable of helping each other.  Let me explain how we can use a situation as a learning opportunity.  Let’s take  “politics”  which is something everyone is familiar with and usually complains  about.  The recent presidential election Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton brought about much shock. Despite the upsets and the shock it is possible to use the recent Presidential Election situation as a Learning Opportunity.  The learning opportunity in this situation can be that civilized benefit feature for the desired candidate would help.  The media outlets frown on twitter outburst can actually help the person get more publicity.  Therefore, why not argue back on public twitter to get the attention the other candidate is getting.  Those are good learning opportunities for us to take from this situation.

Turning the frown into a smile, turning this situation into a Learning Opportunity comes when people realize that they can if they want to.  Another learning opportunity is with the DACA people.  We the USA have no money to help immigrants but the community can help.  The learning opportunity here is that the community, we can help.  Groups of individuals with the same beliefs that want to help immigrants can ban together and help.  These groups of people help immigrants coming into the USA using their own money and resources designated only to help incoming immigrants.  The reason I use the key words “money and resources designated only to help incoming immigrants”  is because many people need help.  However, these monies that have been donated and fund raised are designated only to help the incoming immigrants.  The community can help with work visas, places of employment sponsoring the immigrant and so on.

In conclusion, as originally stated in the beginning of this blog post, when we use a situation as a learning opportunity we are turning a situation from bad to good.  The situation has happened it’s all up to us if we want to get a learning opportunity from the situation.  With that being said this Presidential Election result with Donald Trump President of the USA leaves us with a learning opportunity to show we can help each other.  Donald Trump has won the presidential election and in order for the immigrants  to survive we can adapt to the situation.  The learning opportunity is showing that we as a community are capable of helping each other.   People helping People.

Customer Service

Posted Posted in Life

What is customer service? Well, that is the type of service that the customer receives or interprets. The reason that I say type of customer service the customer interprets is because the service might be good but the customer interprets it differently. Let me give you an example. The waitress greats her table people but when she brings the food crosses over one person to reach the person at the end of the table. Jane having the waitress arm in her face gets upset and interprets the waitress behavior as bad customer service. We don’t always get that experience of “good customer service” that leaves us wanting to come back or wanting more from this particular place. What happened ? Well simply put our expectations and our emotional needs were not met. Emotional needs being met are more important than the delicious meal at a restaurant, the delicious beverage or finding good prices at the store. We are all human beings despite if anyone says they are not emotional or care about how they are treated. What makes a person come back is that warm fuzzy feeling they get. The food may be delicious in a restaurant however if the waitress was not smiling and happy how many people do you think will go back? A lot of people will admit that customer service of a restaurant is MORE important than the actual taste of the food.

When someone walks into a public place that person is expecting good customer service. Yes, I did say the word expecting because that is expected. We have expectations of a pleasant person greeting us regardless of how their day is going or any frown that we may have on our face. Yes, the road to being nice can be a two way street however remember “we” are the customer to be serviced. Remember the words customer service, it really is all about the customer and how they are serviced. Most people are considered “constant complainers” because expect a level of customer service. When person does not get or experience good customer service are they really a constant complainer?

In conclusion working in public place requires a lot from people. My applause and cheers go to all who work and deal with the public. Customers can be rude, aloof or have 100 things on their agenda. However. it is still up to the employee to give good customer service. Working in the public required to give good customer service can be a bit much on some days. The easiest way to get through the day despite whatever going through is to remember it is Showtime. Time to put on that show and give some good customer service.